Chapter Forty-two: Mean Guys

Chapter 42

Mean Guys

Celeste drove her Ferrari 328 to the Pink Flamingo Mall that morning. She wore a Def Leppard off-shoulder shirt, leopard print mini-skirt, fishnet hose, and black ankle strap boots. She had a fringe leather jacket over herself.

She made a right-hand turn onto the exit toward the Pink Flamingo Mall and found a parking spot close to the entrance. She climbed out of the car and locked it.

She approached the fountain and marveled at the flowing water. She then remembered she had come here to buy Torturgazm’s latest album. She went to enter Cam the Record Man and saw two familiar faces by Cathy’s Closet—a lingerie store. She spotted Ashley with Vanessa there. Why are they taking this girl there? She wondered.

There were many sales for Love Day. She saw a billboard that said, “LOVE DAY SALE AT CHERRY BOMB!” She went up the escalator curious to see what this was about.

She walked and stood before a store called “Cherry Bomb!” The name was lit up in neon red with a cherry to the side. The door frame had male, female, transgender, intersex, and nonbinary symbols and the mannequins wore sexy lingerie, sexy briefs, and harnesses. She entered the store and saw shelves lined up with sex toys, BDSM tools, sexy wear, lubes, toy cleaners, panties, and more. Oh, it’s a sex store, she thought.

She was about to leave when the tickling section caught her eye. Hello? She thought and zipped over there.

~

After Celeste left the store with her purchases, she went down the escalator to see Ashley and Vanessa at the chocolate shop, where they watched the chocolatier write names on a chocolate heart.

~

At the Katsaros hacienda, Deimos, Tristan, and Makayla were at the island. Tristan was sipping on tea while Deimos had some coffee and read the newspaper.

Celeste barged in, kicked her boots off, and ran up to them.

Celeste: “Guys, guess what?!”

Tristan: “Fabien wrote another book?”

He asked dryly.

Celeste: “He did? No, I saw Ashley at the Pink Flamingo Mall… with some girl.”

Tristan and Deimos stared at her. Makayla froze.

Deimos: “What about it?”

Celeste: “Well, there are ‘Love Day’ sales and stuff… and they took her to Cathy’s Closet.”

She said flatly. Deimos shrugged. Makayla’s heart sank.

Deimos: “Not my problem.”

Celeste: “And they took her to that chocolate place where they write you and your partner’s name on a chocolate heart.”

Her eyes grew large. Makayla frowned and looked away from them.

Tristan: “Celeste, why is this any of your concern or ours?”

He asked exasperatedly.

Makayla: “Who is this girl?”

She enquired.

Tristan: “Did she have chin-length blue hair and dress in pink?”

He asked Celeste. She nodded.

Celeste: “Yeah!”

Tristan: “She would be Blair Donati’s cousin, Vanessa Vitali. Deimos and I go to the Donati home to pick up the desserts and confectionaries we ordered from Ashley. She lives there.”

He explained.

Makayla: “Vanessa Vitali, huh?”

She stroked her chin with curiosity about who this girl was.

Tristan: “Yes, her father kicked her out, so she will be residing with the Donatis.”

He reiterated and cupped his chin.

Tristan: “...Why are you asking about her, Makayla?”

He asked her and locked his gaze on her. He knew why but he dreaded this would be another one of her tangents. Deimos lifted his head from the newspaper and glanced at Tristan.

Makayla: “No reason… just curious.”

She shifted her eyes and rose from her seat.

Makayla: “...I gotta go get some new guitar strings.”

Tristan sighed and rose.

Tristan: “Please don’t go to the Donati’s to confront her, Makayla. I know your patterns and how you blow things out of proportion.”

He said beseechingly and folded his arms over his chest.

Tristan: “Your tangent to Fabien and Craig solved nothing and had it not been for me intervening, Lazaros would have framed you for slashing Craig’s tires.”

He added for good measure. Makayla bowed her head and sat back down again.

Makayla: “All right, I won’t.”

She sighed. Tristan eyed her with skepticism. He wanted to believe her.

Celeste: “Actually, I fixed that by telling Craig to use Funny Feet.”

She pouted and poked Tristan’s tummy. Tristan laughed a bit and brushed her hand away. Makayla sighed when she thought of how Ashley would beam and laugh when she poked their tummy like that and her temptation returned. She couldn’t stand the thought of this other girl doing that to them.

Celeste poked Tristan’s tummy again. He laughed and backed away.

Tristan: “Don’t!”

He hissed. Deimos grabbed him and picked him up.

Tristan: “Deimos, what are you doing?!”

He laughed. Deimos carried him to the couch and grabbed his ankles.

Tristan: “Oh, golly!”

He laughed and shrieked with laughter when Deimos’ fingers scribbled over his soles.

Tristan: “OH! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! DHEHEHEMOHOHOS! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

He howled with laughter and writhed around on the couch. Celeste started tickling Tristan’s tummy and his laughter grew more hysterical.

Tristan: “DAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAMN YOHOHOHOHOHOU AHAHAHAHAHAHA BOHOHOTH! OHOHOHOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!”

He laughed hard and breathed ragged breaths between laughing as tears filled his green eyes.

Makayla’s desires grew deeper as she watched the tickling unfold. She seized this opportunity to sneak out away from them to pursue what she wanted.

~

At the Donati manor, Blake was in the backyard building a rabbit hutch. Blair, Ashley, and Vanessa were out in the front in the garden they made. Vanessa was helping Ashley gather the fruits and vegetables while Blair watched them and pouted. Ashley turned to Blair and frowned when they saw his expression.

Ashley: “What’s wrong, Blair?”

They tilted their head.

Blair: “Why didn’t you ask me to come with you to the mall? Maybe I wanted to keep you company!”

He huffed and looked away, hurt. Ashley knit their eyebrows.

Ashley: “I’m sorry, Blair. I didn’t mean to hurt you! If you wanted to come, too, why didn’t you say so?”

Vanessa: “I wanted them to drive me to get me new bras, panties, and chocolate.”

Ashley awkwardly fiddled with their hair.

Blair: “There are taxis for that!”

He stomped his foot.

Blair: “Because no one asked me!”

He flapped his arms.

Ashley: “I’m sorry… Do you want to go to the shops now?”

They smiled. Blair sighed and smiled.

Blair: “Sure!”

He turned around and saw Makayla on their lawn.

Blair: “What do you want?”

He asked sharply. Ashley’s eyes widened, shocked to see Makayla there.

Ashley: “Makayla? What are you doing here?”

They gasped.

Makayla: “How come you didn’t drive me to get bras and panties?”

She asked bitterly, scrutinizing Vanessa beside them. "So this must be Vanessa, of course. They went for someone cute," she thought to herself. Ashley was taken aback by her approach. Vanessa looked at her and arched an eyebrow. Blair rolled his eyes. He was getting fed up with these Medeiros siblings.

Ashley: “Wh-What?!”

They stammered and flushed awkwardly at the conversation.

Ashley: “Have you been following me?”

They drew back.

Makayla: “No!”

Vanessa: “How would you know that? Why do you care?”

She asked and rose.

Makayla: “Because someone told me!”

She repeated herself.

Vanessa: “Then why do you care?

She asked again.

Ashley drew a breath.

Ashley: “...I thought we made peace and moved on, Makayla...”

They embraced themself.

Blair: “Ashley, she’s her brother’s sister! Look at that book he and his boyfriend made! They don’t ever move on!”

He said flippantly and folded his arms over his chest. Makayla glared at Blair.

Makayla: “I am not like Craig! I gave them a piece of my mind about that stupid book!”

She countered. Ashley froze.

Ashley: “...You what?! What did you do, Makayla?”

They sighed and paced around.

Makayla: “I gave them a piece of my mind, that’s what!”

She explained.

Makayla: “Lazaros slashed Craig’s tires for hurting his ego. Hmph. They barely mocked him.”

She huffed bitterly. Ashley’s eyes widened.

Ashley: “...Lazaros? Uhh, why would he slash Craig’s tires?”

They asked disbelievingly.

Blair: “Instead of antagonizing your oafish brother, I supported Ashley by hugging them and reassuring them they are full of love!”

He said as he wagged his head.

Vanessa: “I did it first!”

She insisted.

Blair: “You did NOT!”

He pouted. Ashley shuffled awkwardly and waved their hands around.

Ashley: “Please don’t fight! You both comforted me with your good vibes!”

They smiled at them both. Makayla gaped at them both.

Vanessa giggled and poked their tummy. Ashley jolted and giggled.

Ashley: “Hehe, hey!”

Makayla glared at Vanessa.

Makayla: “HEY!”

She huffed, marching over to Ashley and poking their tummy. Ashley giggled, taken aback.

Ashley: “H-Hey hehe!”

Blair: “HEY!”

He glared at Makayla and poked Ashley’s tummy. Ashley’s eyes widened with shock.

Ashley: “Hehehe!”

They giggled. Makayla glared at Blair.

Makayla: “Amateurs.”

She clicked her tongue and tickled Ashley’s tummy with her fingertips. Ashley gasped and buckled over.

Ashley: “HAHAHAHEHEH AHH HAH OH NOHOHO! M-MAKAYLA?! W-WHAAHAHT?!”

They wailed. Blair and Vanessa both glared at her.

Blair: “HEY! That’s not fair!”

He snapped and tickled Ashley’s tummy with his fingers and Vanessa joined in on the tickling. Ashley was overwhelmed with the shivering sensation all over them.

Ashley: “HAHAH AHAHH EHEHEHEHEHA AHHAHAHAH OHOHOHOHO EHEHE HEHEH OHOOHOH MY! AHAHEHEHEH AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!”

They fell to the lawn, rolling around like a cat as all three of them tickled them.

~

Tristan sat in the living room cleaning his glasses.

Tristan: “You two distracted me while she ran off to make things worse.”

He huffed and put on his glasses.

Deimos: “Well, I didn’t distract you. I wanted to tickle you.”

He smirked.

Celeste: “Me too.”

Deimos: “Let Makayla fuck up, Tristan. It’s not your job to save her.”

He stated. Tristan sighed.

Tristan: “Well, you two are making a band. Yes, I’m aware her behavior doesn’t reflect on you but… I don’t want to see you fall into the same hole that Nuklear fell in.”

He declared and drew a long breath.

Tristan: “Makayla seems to want to make music but she does exhibit her brother’s traits. You can’t overlook that.”

Deimos bowed his head. Tristan sighed dejectedly.

Tristan: “I don’t want to see you hurt, Deimos.”

He knit his eyebrows.

Deimos: “No, I can take care of myself. I have to protect you from being hurt.”

He held Tristan’s hand and kissed it.

Tristan: “Well…”

He kissed him.

Tristan: “When you’re hurt, I’m also hurt.”

He said softly. Deimos looked away. Tristan was right but he wanted to make this band, not only for himself but to prove he could take care of Tristan, he thought.

Celeste rummaged through her Cherry Bomb bag and Tristan and Deimos peeled their gazes onto each other and glued them on Celeste.

Deimos: “What did you get from Cherry Bomb? Isn’t that a sex shop?”

Tristan reddened.

Tristan: “Kind of a personal question, Deimos.”

He whispered but he was curious.

She pulled out a rose.

Tristan: “A rose? You bought a flower from there?”

She brushed it on Tristan’s neck. He jerked back and laughed.

Celeste: “It’s a tickling rose! And check this bad boy out!”

She pulled out a Wartenberg Wheel with seven rows of pins. Tristan shivered and Deimos blushed.

Deimos: “You got that to use on Tristan! Before I did!”

He blurted and pouted. Tristan’s heart thundered in his chest and Deimos flushed when he realized what slipped out.

Celeste: “No, I got it to use on his dad!”

Tristan grimaced.

Tristan: “Great, my father will be overjoyed.”

But he also felt relieved as he wanted Deimos to buy those to use on him.

Celeste smirked at the items in her bag. I didn’t just get them for Victor and Tristan but someone else, she thought and shifted her eyes.

~

Celeste drove to Danny Donger’s to get something to eat. The host sat her down at a booth near the back, and handed her a menu. She opened the menu to look through it. She caught a waft of a familiar scent of hyacinth, cedarwood, amber, and lemon. Fabien’s cologne, she thought and her eyes lit up when he approached her table.

Fabien: “Hello, welcome to Danny Donger’s. My name is Fabien and I will be your server!”

He chuckled.

Celeste: “I know who you are.”

She poked his tummy. Fabien drew back and laughed.

Fabien: “I’m teasing, okay?”

He clicked his tongue.

Fabien: “Okay, special for today is a mushroom melt burger with cheese fries or two pounds of wings with a bucket of beer. If you’re ordering to go, I can throw in forty pounds for Makayla.”

He snorted at his own joke. Celeste tickled his tummy. He yelped and laughed.

Fabien: “HAHAHHAHAHA! Okay, okay!”

He put his hands up.

Celeste: “I want fifty wings!”

Fabien got out his notepad and started writing them down.

Fabien: “What sauce?”

Celeste: “The hottest you got!”

He wrote down, “911.”

Celeste: “Hot like you!”

She added. Fabien smirked.

Fabien: “You have good taste.”

Celeste: “And cheese fries, too!”

He wrote it down.

Celeste: “And a Corona Extra!”

He nodded.

Celeste: “I love how ticklish your feet are.”

He laughed.

Fabien: “Thanks, glad you like tickling them. At least you do.”

He said with a hint of bitterness.

Celeste: “I love your feet, Tristan’s and Victor’s!”

She looked up at him with sparkling eyes.

Fabien: “Yeah, leave out Tristan and his crybaby father and you’re good.”

His smile spread to show his even white teeth.

Fabien: “Anything else?”

Celeste: “You!”

Fabien snorted and loved her laying the compliments thick on him.

Fabien: “Thank you, no doggie bag for Makayla? The whole restaurant?”

He teased. She reached up and tickled his armpits and he shrieked with laughter.

Fabien: “AHAHAHAHAHA! STAHAHAHAHAP!”

He laughed and went to the cook’s window to put in the order. He went to the bartender, who was an overweight balding white man in his fifties or sixties. He told him Celeste wanted a bottle of Corona Extra.

The host went to tell him there was a customer at table twenty-five. Fabien nodded and approached the table. He got his notepad and pen from his pouch and was stunned to see Jaxon there. Jaxon’s smile lit up when he saw him.

Jaxon: “That’s right, I’m back in town… and enjoying the views.”

He smirked at Fabien. Fabien’s cheeks flushed a bright pink.

Fabien: “Hello, long time no see. Glad you like the view. What can I get for you?”

He clicked his pen.

Jaxon: “Well, your number, for one.”

He took the pen from his hand.

Fabien: “Oh…”

He said softly and smirked.

Fabien: “We’re not supposed to give our numbers to customers.”

He bit his bottom lip.

Jaxon: “I see now. Well, here’s my number then.”

He slipped in a sheet of paper with his phone number on it.

Fabien took it and thanked him for it.

Fabien: “Is your band touring here?”

He asked him.

Jaxon: “Hell yeah! We’re opening up for Torturgazm at the Pink Top arena! You should come… I can get you some backstage passes to meet and greet… if you know what I mean.”

He leaned forward across the table, closer to him, and winked at him. Fabien blushed and looked to one side.

Fabien: “Do tell.”

He purred.

Sitting behind Jaxon’s booth was a skinny swarthy man with a trucker hat on, a red plaid shirt, suspenders, jeans, work boots, and gloves on his hands. He made a face at the food and rose from his table to go up to the payphone in the bar. He slid a coin in and dialed a number.

~

Craig was at his and Fabien’s house watching America’s Dumbest Home Videos on the couch in his underwear. Gus sat on the floor rocking back and forth huffing Craig’s boots. The phone in the kitchen rang. Craig bolted from the couch like an excited dog and grabbed the phone.

Craig: “Fabien?!”

He exclaimed.

Man: “No, sir, Fabien is here and that glam metal musician you knew is enticing him to make love to him when they tour.”

He replied. Craig’s heart sank.

Craig: “Wait… fuckin’ Maxx?!”

Man: “I believe they made love before. His name is Jaxon.”

He smirked. Craig slunk down and dropped the phone to his knees.

Craig: “F-Fabien!”

He wailed and his bottom lip trembled. He panted and clenched his fists into tiny balls as his fury soared. He threw some clothes on, shoved his feet into his boots, grabbed the keys to his Jeep, and marched over to the door.

Craig: “I’m headin’ the fuck out, mate!”

He said to Gus before leaving.

Gus: “See ya, Craig!”

He waved.

~

Fabien brought Celeste’s food to her and smiled.

Fabien: “Enjoy your meal!”

He said, going to Jaxon’s table.

Fabien: “What can I get you to drink?”

Jaxon: “I’ll have a dirty martini…”

He purred, eyeing off his physique. Fabien bit his bottom lip and his tongue flicked over his lips.

Fabien: “Like it dirty, do you?”

He chuckled.

Jaxon: “Yes, I do… and I’d like ‘Sex on the Beach’ along with it.”

He teased. Fabien bit his bottom lip.

Fabien: “I think that can be arranged.”

He nodded.

A deep Australian voice bellowed.

Craig: “Arrange THIS, cunt!”

Suddenly, Jaxon was smacked to the ground with a hard force as Craig clocked him in the jaw. Fabien gasped and cupped his mouth. His heart hammered in his chest. The man seated behind Jaxon smirked. Jaxon felt the room spinning around him and made out Craig’s large silhouette standing over him.

Jaxon: “What the FUCK?!”

He rasped, rubbing where Craig hit him.

Craig: “Stay the fuck away from my man, glitter cock cunt!”

He spat on the floor.

Jaxon: “Like he’d want a loser like you.”

He laughed at Craig, staggering to his feet.

Fabien: “Why are you here, Craig? How did you know he was here?”

He asked him.

Craig: “Let’s just say a lil’ birdie told me!”

He pouted.

Fabien: “A little birdie, huh? Tristan?”

He asked sharply. The man clenched his hand into a fist.

Craig: “Oh fuck… It probably was him! He sounded like a cunt!”

He huffed. The man looked away and brushed his hair back.

Fabien: “Jaxon’s band is opening for Tortugazm. He invited me backstage.”

He folded his arms over his chest. Jaxon smirked at Craig.

Craig: “WHAT?!”

He rasped and glared at Jaxon with hot anger.

Jaxon: “What? You don’t have a band anymore.”’

He shrugged.

Craig: “Why you, little shit cunt!”

He seethed and panted, grabbing Jaxon by the neck.

Celeste: “Step back, Fabien! Things are going to get ugly and I can be your bodyguard!”

She wrapped her arms around him.

Craig: “OI! Everyone get their hands off my man!”

He pouted, dropping Jaxon to the ground.

Celeste: “Nuh-uh! He said he wants me to tickle his feet!”

He stuck her tongue out at him and tickled Fabien’s sides and tummy. Fabien burst out laughing.

Fabien: “WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Craig: “OI! THAT’S MY JOB!”

He rasped, grabbed Fabien from her, pulled off his shoes and socks, and tickled the soles of his feet like a bass guitar.

Fabien: “AHHHH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAA!”

He laughed, and tears welled in his eyes. Celeste joined in and tickled his soles with her nails. He howled with laughter.

Fabien: “OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO MY GOHOHOHOHOHOD!”

Craig glared at her and tickled him harder.

Craig: “Oh yeah? I’ll show you!”

He pouted. Fabien shrieked with laughter and pressed his hands against his temples.

Fabien: “WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Ashley entered the restaurant with Blair and Vanessa following behind them. They were greeted by Fabien’s laughter filling the restaurant and they turned to see him being tickled by Craig and Celeste.

Ashley: “Oh my… good thing they’re busy. Maybe tickles will cure their mean souls… and soles.”

They giggled. The man behind Jaxon’s table snarled.

They sat down at a nearby table. A slim Asian man with feathered turquoise and blue ombre hair approached the man’s table. He wore a pink Danny Donger’s uniform.

Asian man: “Everything okay, sir?”

Man: “The food was terrible. I wouldn’t give this to my brother’s cats but your service was excellent.”

He said, and he handed the man a fifty-dollar tip. His eyes lit up.

Asian man: “OH MY! Thank you so, so much!”

Ashley paused when they recognized his voice and speech patterns.

Ashley: “...Lazaros?”

They turned in the direction of the man, surprised to see a sight they weren’t expecting. They chuckled and rose to approach him.

Ashley: “Hey, Laz! Fancy seeing you here! Uhh, why are you dressed like that? Are you going to a Halloween party or something, haha?”

They beamed and waved at him. Lazaros reddened all over that Ashley had to see him in this place and wearing this. Ashley smiled and tilted their head.

Ashley: “Oh wow… you’re red like a tomato… are you okay?”

Lazaros pulled down the brim of his hat.

Fabien panted.

Fabien: “YOU! YOU CALLED CRAIG TO TELL HIM ABOUT JAXON!”

He barked and panted as he put his socks and shoes back on. Craig turned around in his direction and gaped.

Craig: “WHAT?! Who the fuck is this bogan cunt?!”

Fabien pulled off the trucker hat and Lazaros’ silky black hair fell down his back. He snarled at Fabien.

Ashley was mesmerized by his hair falling into place and paused.

Ashley: “Uhh, what? What’s going on?”

They scratched their head.

Lazaros: “Yeah, Fab! You were going to cheat on Craig and I wanted him to see that you were going with a real rocker and not some pretend rockstar! Not even you want Craig!”

He smirked. Fabien snarled at Lazaros. Craig’s bottom lip trembled.

Lazaros: “You are SUCH a loser, Craig! Your boyfriend was going to run off with a real rockstar while you sit around in your underwear and do nothing. No wonder Fabien is miserable with you. Andreas told Blake aaaaaall about it!”

He flipped his hair and smirked. Ashley tilted their head.

Ashley: “Blake?”

Craig glared hatefully at Lazaros and stepped forward.

Fabien: “You don’t speak for me, Lazaros!”

He snapped at him.

Craig: “SHUT THE FUCK UP, CUNT! Go chase some fat fucks!”

He fired back at him, getting up in his face. Ashley knit their eyebrows, giving Lazaros a worried look.

Lazaros: “Are you going to do this, Craig? Shouldn’t you confront your man?”

He smirked.

Craig: “Shouldn’t you feed your fatty?!”

He fired back at him, trying to hide and fight back his tears. Lazaros laughed.

Lazaros: “Is that all?”

He spread his arms out.

Lazaros: “I will gladly feed Ashley GOOD food from my kitchen while you cry yourself to sleep.”

He smiled. Ashley’s eyes lit up. Craig’s bottom lip trembled.

Craig: “I-I gotta take a PISS! We ain’t finished here, cunt!”

He trembled, rushing off to the restroom to hide his tears.

Ashley: “...Woah. You made Craig cry.”

Lazaros put his arm around Ashley. Ashley shivered to his touch, feeling held.

Lazaros: “Come along, Ashley! I will make you some good food from my kitchen!”

He said lofiliy. Ashley gasped and beamed.

Ashley: “R-Really?!”

Blair angrily rose.

Blair: “They’re with us!”

He snapped and pointed to himself with his thumb.

Vanessa: “Yeah, that’s right!”

She pouted. Lazaros eyed Blair and Vanessa indignantly.

Lazaros: “Who are you two again?”

He squeezed Ashley’s shoulder and tilted his head.

Lazaros: “Not anymore. They’re with me and they’re getting good food. Ta-ta!”

He led Ashley out. Blair growled at Lazaros as he left with Ashley.

Fabien bowed his head and went to the men’s restroom after Craig.

~

When Craig was sobbing in the men’s room, Fabien entered. Craig heard the door open; he stopped sobbing and started doing push-ups, trying to imitate grunting noises to drown out the sobbing.

Fabien: “Craig?”

He slowly walked in.

Craig: “I’m just workin’ out!”

He pouted, getting on the ground and doing push-ups.

Fabien: “...No, you weren’t.”

He folded his arms over his chest and looked away.

Craig: “Hmph. Where’s Mr. glitter cock rockstar?”

He huffed bitterly, continuing his push-ups.

Fabien: “Talk to me, Craig.”

He said, his tone taking on an edge.

Craig: “I heard ya’s. You were gonna go backstage ‘n fuck him on a dirty beach!”

He wailed. Fabien drew a long breath.

Fabien: “It was a drink, Craig. And yes, he offered backstage passes for a Tortugazm concert.”

He folded his arms over his chest and pursed his lips.

Craig: “Yeah, so he could fuck you backstage ‘n gloat about it like a King dick rockstar!”

He cried into his hands. Fabien rubbed his temples and heaved a deep sigh.

Fabien: “When Jaxon and I had sex, we connected but I didn’t want to keep him from pursuing his dream and I didn’t want to be like my dad.”

He began. Craig pouted, his fury rising at the thought of his man in the sheets with another. Fabien’s bottom lip trembled.

Fabien: “But I come home and you’re excited to see me but I feel like pulling teeth to talk to you! I have to do these things to get you to listen to me or do anything to make me happy!”

He cried.

Craig: “Ohh, so I don’t make ya happy no more, huh?”

He sniffled. Fabien threw his arms up and paced around the bathroom.

Fabien: “I cook for you! I clean for you! I ask you to do some things for me and you get huffy and make excuses! I get tired, Craig!”

He bawled. Craig bowed his head.

Fabien: “Do you think I like coming home to my house being a mess because of YOU?”

He fired at him. Craig cowered and slunk down.

Craig: “No…”

He answered meekly like a scolded child.

Craig: “It ain’t like king dick glitter cock will make ya happy. I know what guys like that are like, they only want ONE thing from ya, Fab!”

He bawled. Fabien threw his head back and barked laughter. He then locked his glare on Craig.

Fabien: “And you don’t?”

Craig: “What?! I ain’t nothin’ like that guy!”

He huffed. Fabien slapped his arms by his side.

Fabien: “No shit, he has a band and yours left! You don’t have a band!”

He fired back. Craig recoiled.

Craig: “That ice cunt ruined it!”

He fired back. Fabien rolled his eyes.

Fabien: “Yes, it’s Tristan’s fault your band left and Nuklear is dead.”

He said dryly.

Fabien: “I don’t like him as much as the next guy, but this is YOUR fault! And it’s YOUR fault I am sick of you! I do all this shit to make you happy but when I ask you to do something to make ME happy, it’s like pulling teeth!”

He cried.

Craig: “What would make you happy?! What do you want from me?”

He pressed him. Fabien pressed his finger on Craig’s chest.

Fabien: “I told you I wanted you to play with my feet and tickle them! I told you to apply that Funny Feet foot deodorizer. I don’t WANT to smell your stinky feet! I am not Gus! When I ask you to install something, I don’t want you to roll your eyes and complain you have to do it!”

He snapped.

Craig: “I DID use that stupid feet stuff ‘n I do play with your feet! Is that all you want? Just feet stuff?”

Fabien rolled his eyes and threw his arms up.

Fabien: “I can’t ask you to have deep conversations with me because you’re too stupid to understand what I am saying anyway.”

Craig recoiled with hurt.

Craig: “...Y-You think I’m stupid?!?”

He cried and swallowed hard.

Fabien: “I always did, Craig.”

He replied sharply. Craig gasped and his bottom lip trembled.

Fabien: “Up until your father said you should date Jaclyn, you didn’t tell him about me!”

He cried and shoved him. Craig knocked back against the wall and cried.

Craig: “Yeah, well, I sent him into a heart attack for you! I would literally kill for you, Fab!”

He pleaded with him. Fabien paused and sighed.

Fabien: “We didn’t know that would happen though…”

Craig pursed his lips.

Craig: “I did… That’s why I was reluctant to tell him…”

He admitted. Fabien nodded.

Fabien: “I see. Well, you did when he suggested you date Jaclyn, not because of me necessarily.”

He folded his arms over and bowed his head.

Fabien: “Let’s be real here… I am the main breadwinner of the house. I have to be nice to perverts and idiots all day and am on my feet all day. I make pin-ups and you get riled up about those. You’re just in a mascot suit for a few hours and you don’t get paid as much as Gus who is the cook in the back. I never complained about your job but when I fucking ask you to put up some blinds for me, you bitch and complain!”

He slapped him. Craig recoiled to his slap.

Craig: “Oww! Breadwinner?! I should be the breadwinner! So if ya want me to get a better job, I will! You shouldn’t have to be around perverts all day! I don’t like ‘em hittin’ on ya! I put up the blinds ‘n I did a damn good job of it!”

He countered. Fabien glared at him.

Fabien: “I never complained about your job… You don’t tell me to quit mine. I am NOT quitting. I love working here!”

He barked.

Craig: “...What? You like bein’ around perverts?!”

He cried.

Fabien: “My father tried to control me and now you are!”

He slapped him hard across his face.

Craig: “OWW! I’m not tryin’ to control you!”

Fabien: “Go date Tristan instead, Craig!”

He cried and stormed out of the bathroom.

Craig: “Ice cunt?! I don’t want that asshole! I WANT YOU!”

He pleaded and chased him.

Fabien stormed out of the restaurant and went to his Shelby Mustang. Craig ran after him and threw himself down onto the hood of his car.

Craig: “FABIEN, WAIT!”

Fabien: “Get off my car, you big dummy!”

He cried and tried to shove him off.

Craig: “Pleeeease, don’t leave me! I love you!”

He wailed, attracting attention of patrons around the restaurant. Fabien paused and gaped at him.

Fabien: “You love me?”

Craig: “YES! Fuckin’ oath, I do!”

He cried, Fabien looked away and sighed.

Fabien: “Why do you love me?”

Craig placed his hands down onto the hood of his car.

Craig: “I don’t know, I don’t understand feelin’s I just know I never felt this one before. I love how sexy you are ‘n more than that! You make me feel good ‘bout myself ‘n not like a loser like other people make me feel like, ‘n you make the best chicken burgers! I gave my dad a heart attack for you, so you’re special.”

He pleaded with him. Fabien looked away and sighed.

Fabien: “You listed things I do for you… What about me as a person?”

He asked.

Craig: “You’re sexy, wicked sick, and you’re fun to be around, you wanna do fun stuff on a Saturday night ‘n not be a boring buzzkill stayin’ in with some lame books or some shit!”

He explained. Fabien smiled a bit.

Fabien: “I can read!”

He laughed a bit and brushed his hair behind his ear.

Fabien: “You mean I love you in your love language and not force tarot cards down your throat.”

Craig smiled a bit.

Craig: “What language is that? Aussie? Ha, fuck no, you ain’t givin’ me spooky skull ‘n tower cards ‘n tellin’ me my life is goin’ to shit!”

He laughed a bit. Fabien laughed a bit and waved his hands around.

Fabien: “No, I don’t mean slang… I mean, I love you in the way you want me to and not the way I think… I don’t turn to tarot cards to predict my future. You can’t put your future in a fucking children’s card game; life is unpredictable and maybe you will hit bumpy roads and run into obstacles but you overcome those. Shuffling a deck of cards isn’t going to predict anything. Andreas relies too much on that and not even Tristan is like this. He just did that reading from Andreas just to manipulate him. You create your own future; a card game doesn’t predict shit.”

He stated. Craig smiled at him.

Craig: “Fuckin’ oath! Ain’t no stupid cards gonna tell me what to do!”

He said doggedly. They heard a voice cut in from behind them.

Andreas: “No, you’re going to tell everyone else what to do.”

He countered. Fabien turned to Andreas, who was with Blake. Craig turned to face them.

Fabien: “Craig can try to tell me what to do, but he can’t. I’m a free-spirit who refuses to be bound by anything… except in the bedroom.”

He quipped and smirked. Craig smirked and cackled.

Craig: “My kinda man.”

He kissed him. Fabien chuckled and kissed him back.

Andreas: “You’re bound to Craig, so you’re not a free-spirit.”

He stated.

Craig: “Yeah… IN THE BEDROOM!”

He cackled, feeling clever for that one. Blake rolled his eyes.

Blake: “No one asked.”

Fabien: “Do tell how I’m bound to Craig, Andreas… I would love to know this. I’m the main breadwinner, I own the house, I cook for him, and clean up after him, and he does what I want. So tell me. How am I bound to him?”

He tilted his head.

Andreas: “Right, you’re his babysitter.”

He replied. Blake laughed.

Craig: “BABYSITTER?! Fuck off! I ain’t a fuckin’ baby!”

He fired back.

Fabien: “Okay, sounds like Craig is bound to me.”

He laughed.

Andreas: “Well, he’s your problem now. You’re stuck with him.”

He stated.

Fabien: “I choose to be with him. I am not stuck with him. If I was stuck with anything, it was my father pushing me to be a lawyer as he is but I left that to pursue my dreams. Try again. Maybe look to your children’s card game to get some answer.”

He said wryly. Craig laughed and Andreas rolled his eyes.

Blake: “Right… you’re sure living the dream, working at a place like this and being with Craig.”

He said dryly.

Andreas: “Children’s card game, huh? Didn’t you make a children’s book full of fat jokes?”

He countered. Blake frowned.

Fabien: “I love my job and you’re so judgemental against anything sexual. Live a little, huh? As for my book, yes, I wrote it. Glad you loved it.”

He replied and smirked. Blake clenched his fists.

Blake: “We never said we loved it. We hated it!”

He snapped. Fabien flicked his fingers at him.

Fabien: “Did you like where I said your boyfriend has his tattoos done by a child or a drunk?”

He snorted. Andreas took a deep breath in as he felt his heat rising.

Andreas: “Craig literally had his tattoo done by a drunk.”

He pointed to Craig’s bicep tattoo.

Craig: “Shut up…”

He pouted.

Fabien: “Okay, but it’s not scribbles all over his arm.”

He laughed. Andreas rolled his eyes.

Andreas: “It’s clearly a snake.”

He yanked Blake’s arm and showed his tattoo. Blake blushed when he grabbed him.

Fabien: “Yes, a snake for a snake of a man, huh? Fascinating.”

He quipped. Andreas glared at him.

Andreas: “In many cultures snakes are associated with wisdom and they represent rebirth and transformation as they shed their skin, which applies to him.”

Fabien: “Of course, but that doesn’t apply to Mr. Stick in the Mud. I guess you don’t know your man.”

Craig laughed.

Craig: “Nah, he got a snake ‘cause snake rhymes with Blake! Blake da snake!”

He cackled. Fabien covered his face and laughed. It was so stupid but so Craig, he thought. Blake rolled his eyes at them.

Blake: “How old are you, five?”

Celeste rushed out to Fabien.

Celeste: “FAAAAABIEEEEN! You’re supposed to give me my bill and I’m supposed to tip you.”

Fabien laughed.

Fabien: “Sorry, had issues to deal with, hon. It’s resolved but these two goth clownbirds swooped in to shit on it.”

He fielded scathingly to Andreas and Blake.

Celeste: “Andreas’ cards told me to use Funny Feet on Craig, though.”

Craig: “WHAT?!”

He rasped and fumed.

Fabien: “Sure, they did. No, you got it from that, and it worked.”

He said dryly. Andreas blinked mutely.

Andreas: “...What? That isn’t what it meant.”

Celeste pounded the palm of her hand.

Celeste: “Right, you want me to bring you a barrel of Funny Feet for Craig. I will do that then!”

She said doggedly.

Andreas: “No? How did you get that from what I read to you?”

Fabien: “I have to get to work. It was fun entertaining you both since you’re always dour and grim. You’re welcome.”

He said smugly and walked back into the restaurant. Celeste zipped ahead of Fabien and opened the door for him. Craig grinned smugly at them.

Craig: “Checkmate, cunts!”