Chapter One-hundred Twenty-Nine: Megalosmaniac

Chapter 129

Megalosmaniac

Trevor teleported Deimos, Tristan, Celeste, and Jordi into the Nakamura mansion in the foyer before the dungeon door. They heard Jaxon’s laughter from the dungeon.

Celeste: “JAXON?!”

She called out his name.

Jaxon: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! CEHEHEHEHEHELEHEHEHSTE?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

She heard him cry out between exhausted breaths of laughter from the dungeon room. She ran down the stairs, and the rest followed her. They entered the Viking Torture Chamber. Jaxon was chained to the table, writhing and screaming with laughter as the wheel at the base of the table circled all over his feet.

Jaxon: “CEHEHEHEHEHEHEHELESTE?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! THAHAHAHAHAANK GOHOHOHOHOD!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

He whined. Celeste scrambled to find the button to turn it off and pressed the Varg the Viking button nose on the wall. Jaxon panted, catching his breath.

Celeste: “Jaxon, I’m glad I found you!”

She cupped his face and the two kissed.

Jaxon: “I’m glad you’re here, babe.”

He panted between exhausted breaths. She undid his bonds, and they embraced and kissed deeply.

Celeste helped him off the table, and Deimos handed him his clothes. Jaxon took them, thanked him under his breath, and started to get dressed. Jordi looked around the chamber.

Jordi: “What is this place?”

He scrutinized the dungeon.

Jaxon: “A total nightmare. Why is he here?”

He asked Celeste.

Tristan: “He’s helping us, Jaxon. He’s not going to take you to Minerva.”

Jaxon shuddered and embraced himself. Celeste hugged him close. Jordi observed Jaxon’s body language. What DID she do to him? He wondered.

Jordi: “There’s someone in this Varg Iron Maiden thing.”

He poked it, hearing the laughter.

Jaxon: “Don’t open it! Leave it!”

He hissed.

Jordi: “Why?”

He raised an eyebrow.

Tristan: “Yes, why is that, Jaxon?”

He asked him.

Celeste: “I can help you open it, Jordi!”

She offered.

Jaxon: “NO, DON’T!”

He snapped. Celeste knit her eyebrows and rested her head on his lap. Jaxon patted her head. Jordi surveyed him.

He approached him and stepped on a large foot button on the floor, opening the maiden, and Ichiro fell out panting. Jordi cupped his mouth. Tristan and Jaxon scowled at him, and Deimos held Tristan protectively.

Jordi: “Oh, it’s you, Ichiro. Minerva wondered why you didn’t show up for work.”

He laughed. Ichiro rose and covered his penis.

Ichiro: “Why are YOU here with THEM?”

He hissed.

Jordi: “Since when did you care what Minerva’s employees did?”

He asked him.

Ichiro: “I don’t.”

He spat and froze when he saw Celeste on Jaxon’s lap. Jaxon held her protectively and bared his teeth. Ichiro reddened all over. I’m naked in the same room as Celeste, he thought.

Jaxon: “STAY AWAY FROM MY GREEN QUEEN!”

He rasped.

Ichiro: “Uh, she’s MY green queen, Jiro!”

He countered.

Trevor: “Hey, it’s the guy we saw getting horny to Celeste catching eels!”

He laughed. Celeste knit her eyebrows and nestled into Jaxon’s arms.

Ichiro: “Weren’t you with Chelsea while she drugged Celeste’s iced tea?”

He sneered.

Trevor: “That wasn’t Chelsea! I was with Ivy! She dressed as Chelsea!”

He laughed.

Tristan: “We already know! What you did was unforgivable, and the same applies to Ivy!”

He spat and marched toward Ichiro, but the dungeon shook.

Jaxon: “What the Hell?!”

He held Celeste protectively. Deimos held Tristan protectively. Jordi braced his feet apart.

A five-foot-seven-inch robot resembling Varg the Viking waddled into the room, shaking the ground with each large footstep as its giant metal feet pounded beneath them. The “Varg the Viking” theme music played over the speakers.

Jaxon: “OHHHHH GOOOOOD NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO!”

He screamed in horror as the robot waddled over to them. The robot locked its golf-ball eyes on the group and waddled over. Ichiro clutched onto Celeste’s boobs. Celeste gasped and pulled away. Jaxon shoved him away.

Jaxon: “FUCK OFF!”

He rasped.

Ichiro: “NO, YOU!”

He rasped and shoved him back.

As the robot drew nearer, Jordi shot his hand out, sending lightning bolts crashing down on the Varg robot. Electrical surges coursed through the robot, singing the metal with volts. The robot stiffened and twitched as the lightning surged through it, leading to a loud bang as its head exploded, flying violently across the room. Jordi dodged out of the way. The headless body caught fire and collapsed onto the ground with a loud thud.

Tristan shot his hand out, forming a massive ball of ice over the robot that fell onto it with a mighty crash, scattering scraps of metal and springs across the floor.

The door burst open, followed by Yvette’s loud wailing.

Yvette: “NOOOOOO MY VARGS!”

She screamed.

Yvette: “YOU!”

She shifted her glare onto Celeste. Jaxon held Celeste protectively.

Jaxon: “Leave her out of this! She didn’t destroy that hideous big-foot thing!”

He snapped.

Ichiro: “That’s correct!”

He held Celeste protectively.

Jaxon: “Get off her!”

He growled at Ichiro.

Ichiro: “YOU get off her! She’s mine!”

He hissed. Yvette’s fury soared.

Yvette: “NO! YOU’RE BOTH MINE!”

She protested, withdrawing her feather sword. Jaxon froze, and Ichiro glared at her.

Tristan stood in front of them.

Tristan: “I destroyed that robot.”

He said firmly to her.

Jordi: “I did, too.”

He said in alliance. Yvette turned to gape at them, and a big smirk spread across her lips.

Yvette: “You know what I do with naughty sexy boys?”

She taunted them, waving her feather sword at them.

Yvette: “I PUNISH THEM! YOU’RE ALL GETTING PUNISHED!”

She screamed, snapping her fingers to summon her Burger Berserker guards.

Yvette: “Tie them up and tickle them all!”

She ordered, then turned to Celeste. Celeste growled at her, baring her teeth like an angry caracal.

Yvette: “NOT HER! TIE HER UP AND MAKE HER WATCH ME TORTURE THEM!”

She laughed maniacally.

Deimos stood protectively in front of Tristan.

Deimos: “Don’t you DARE touch him!”

He hissed. Yvette snapped her fingers, pointing to him.

Yvette: “And YOU too! You’re getting punished, too!”

She commanded. Deimos froze and turned white.

Deimos: “Well, I’m not ticklish, so why punish me with that?!”

He stammered.

Yvette: “LIAR!”

She snapped at him.

Yvette: “I sentence you all to fifty lashes!”

She bellowed.

Yvette: “...Of my feather sword!”

Her tone shifted with an innocuous giggle. Deimos’ heart thundered in his chest.

Celeste lunged at her, and one of the guards shot her in the neck with KO, which sent Celeste crashing to the ground, paralyzed.

Jaxon: “CELESTE!”

He called out to her and knelt by her. Ichiro knelt by her.

Ichiro: “MY GREEN QUEEN!”

He cried. Jaxon bared his teeth at him, and Ichiro growled. They both said in unison, “SHE’S MINE!”

Yvette popped up between them like a mushroom.

Yvette: “I’M BOTH OF YOURS!”

She interjected. They turned to her and froze.

The guards surrounded the men, grabbed them, and shackled them all to the tables with their wrists and ankles bound by chains. Celeste was thrown into a cage and forced to watch everything. She tried to move but felt every nerve in her body was turned to stone. The Burger Berkserker men removed Tristan’s, Deimos’, Jordi’s, and Jaxon’s shoes and socks, and didn’t with Ichiro since he was already naked.

Jaxon: “CELESTE!”

He called out to her. Yvette smirked at her.

Yvette: Na, na, na, na, na, na!”

She taunted her. Jaxon bared his teeth at Yvette.

She then turned to the men and pulled out her feather sword, dragging it across the row of bare feet. They all erupted into laughter.

Jaxon: “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! FUHUHUCK OFF! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!”

He laughed hard and panted in between breaths.

Tristan: “AIYEEE!! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!! PLEHEHEHEASE!”

He laughed loudly and arched his back.

Jordi: “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! I CAHAHAHAHAHAHAN’T!”

He laughed hard and thrashed around.

Deimos: “NO! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO FUCK YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

He laughed, furious breaths of laughter, and struggled to escape his bonds.

Ichiro: “AHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! STOP NOW! Hahahaha!”

Yvette zoomed past them, running back and forth across the room as she swiped them all with her feather sword.

Yvette: “Heheehehe!”

She gleefully skipped. The men all laughed loudly, with Tristan’s and Jaxon’s laughter being the loudest and most hysterical, and Jordi following close behind.

Tristan: “PLEAHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHASE!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOHO MOHOHOHORE!”

He shrieked as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Jaxon: “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!!”

He laughed hard and wheezed in between laughing. Tears dripped down his cheeks as he turned red as his stripe.

Jordi: “WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I HAHAHAHAHAHAHATE THIS!! HAHAHAHAHA!!”

He laughed hard as tears welled in his purple eyes and found this exhausting.

Deimos: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! FUCK OFF! FUCKING STOP! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

He rasped between furious bouts of laughter.

Ichiro: “Hahahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHA!!”

Celeste moved in her cage as her fury soared. She hated seeing this crazy bitch tickle her little prince and he endured this for hours. She gnashed her teeth and grabbed onto the bars with two hands, prying them apart.

Celeste: “Get off… my little prince… and my friends!”

She growled between short breaths as she pried the iron bars apart with all her strength. Yvette’s smug and playful demeanor shifted to one of fear.

Yvette: “OH NO! NOOOOO! HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THERE?!”

She gasped, dropping her feather sword and running away like a mouse scampering from a lion.

Celeste jumped and crashed the cage down with a mighty thud. Jaxon panted wildly and smiled at Celeste.

Jaxon: “That’s my green queen.”

He said tiredly. Celeste punched the Varg’s nose button to undo all their bonds. Celeste and Jaxon embraced, followed by the two kissing deeply. Deimos and Tristan embraced each other, with Deimos carrying him off the table.

Trevor entered the dungeon, dragging Yvette’s arm.

Trevor: “Hey, guys! It’s that cah-razy chick!”

He laughed.

Yvette: “NOOO LET ME GO! YOU’RE NOT MY TYPE!”

She screamed.

Celeste growled at her. She grabbed Yvette from Trevor, threw her in the Iron Varg Maiden, and shut the lid, starting it up.

Yvette: “NOOOOOO! NOOOOOO! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHEEH”

She screamed and wailed as the feathers activated, tickling her all over.

Celeste: “There, now your real lover can tickle you to kingdom come!”

She huffed and dusted her hands off.

Celeste: “Get us out of here, Trevor.”

Jaxon: “You can watch her, Ichiro!”

He blew a raspberry at him.

Ichiro: “WHAT!? She’s YOUR fiancée, Jiro!”

He hissed.

Jaxon: “Was!”

He corrected him.

Jaxon: “Sayonara!”

He blew him a raspberry as Trevor teleported Jaxon, Celeste, Tristan, Deimos, and Jordi out of there. Ichiro glared at Jaxon as he left and grabbed his clothes. I touched Celeste’s boobs while she was wearing fishnets, I’m lucky, he thought.

~

They teleported back into Jaxon and Celeste’s home. Jaxon stretched and flopped onto the couch with Celeste in his arms.

Jaxon: “So good to be back home.”

Celeste kissed his chest, and Jaxon shivered. Trevor took a box of Celeste’s snacks and teleported out of there. Celeste didn’t care; she was glad to have her little prince back into her arms.

Tristan turned to Jordi.

Tristan: “Thank you, Jordi. I’ll write you a check to get your grandfather’s oxygen tanks.”

He withdrew a checkbook from his suit jacket to write a check for Jordi. He handed it to Jordi, and his purple eyes widened at the amount.

Jordi: “Oh, no, they don’t come to that much.”

He laughed a bit.

Tristan: “I know. Get yourself something nice; you deserve it.”

He said genially.

Deimos: “Thank you. I mean that.”

He stood by Tristan.

Jordi: “I won’t forget this.”

He nodded.

Tristan: “Take care, Jordi.”

He said earnestly and shook his hand. Jordi smiled and left their place.

Jaxon: “Glad he didn’t take me to… her.”

He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

Celeste: “I wouldn’t allow it!”

She said doggedly.

Deimos: “Do you guys trust him?”

Tristan nodded.

Tristan: “I do. He helped us before, and I feel he doesn’t like working for Minerva, but he feels he has no choice.”

He said with sympathy in his tone.

Jaxon: “He wasn’t mean to me unlike that other mohawk chick my green queen beat the shit out of.”

He added.

Tristan: “He did correct himself when I stated you prefer to be called Jaxon.”

He nodded.

Deimos: “Unfortunately, healthcare is costly, and if he has an ailing grandparent to tend to, he would work for that kooky lady. The pay is likely much better than working in retail or food services.”

He drawled.

Jaxon groaned and sank into his seat.

Jaxon: “I can confirm. I worked as a waiter when I first came here. The pay sucks and you get most of the pay in tips.”

Tristan turned to him and raised his eyebrows.

Tristan: “You worked as a waiter?”

Jaxon reddened and nodded.

Jaxon: “Yeah. I worked in the restaurant at the Noble Monarch.”

He paused.

Jaxon: “My payment was staying there.”

He hung his head. Tristan sat by him and put his hand on Jaxon’s shoulder.

Tristan: “No one’s judging you, Jaxon. This is not the case anymore.”

He said gently.

Jaxon: “Sorry, I didn’t tell you guys sooner.”

Tristan: “What are you apologizing for? You can tell us anything on your own pace or don’t. It’s your story to tell.”

He said genially. Celeste nodded and rested her head on his lap. Jaxon smiled, glad to have a loving girlfriend and supportive friends who didn’t judge him.

Deimos raised an eyebrow. It would explain why he lived there when we first met, but he wasn’t always a waiter, he thought. He wanted to press Jaxon on how he met Percy or Klaus, but didn’t want to upset Tristan or him.

~

Cedar used his teleporting device to enter the Viking Torture Chamber in Shin-Yamato.

Cedar: “Hello, Jordi told me you were here when I asked.”

Ichiro folded his arms and pouted.

Ichiro: “About time. I’m sick of this place and Noriko.”

You’re so welcome, Ichiro, Cedar thought.

Ichiro: “Sayonara, Noriko.”

He blew her a raspberry as she was in the Iron Varg Maiden, and they teleported out of there.

Yvette: “HAHAHA HOHOHO NOOOO NOHOHOHOOOOO!”

She screamed as they slipped through her grip again.

~

That evening, Jordi was at his house on the back patio, reading a book and having a beer with a cigarette. He was out of his suit jacket, his tie loosened, a few buttons unbuttoned on his shirt, and resting his sheer, socked feet on the table. Hannah stepped out, checking him out and gazing at his long, slender feet.

Hannah: “Ah, ah, what did I say about feet on the table, Jordi?”

She lightly tickled his feet. Jordi burst out laughing and pulled his feet away.

Jordi: “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OKAY, OKAY!”

He laughed and shivered. Hannah smiled at him and sat with him.

Hannah: “It’s a nice night out.”

She sighed, gazing at the dusky sky. Jordi inhaled a long drag.

Jordi: “Sure is.”

He stated, followed by a sigh.

Hannah: “Oh, your grandfather loves Ashley’s delicious desserts! And don’t tell him I took some for myself.”

She giggled. Jordi smiled tightly at her.

Jordi: “I’m glad of that… and I won’t.”

He assured her.

They watched the sunset together and listened to the crickets chirping.

Jordi: “So, uh, are you quitting? If you wanted to quit, I would understand. I don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to do.”

He said as he rubbed the back of his neck. I know what it’s like to work for an unpleasant employer, he thought. She gazed at him.

Hannah: “No, Jordi, I am not… I said that in the heat of the moment. I know your grandfather can be a handful, but…”

She said as her voice trailed off. He surveyed her.

Jordi: “I’m glad you’re not.”

He said earnestly. Hannah lit up.

Hannah: “Really?!”

He nodded sincerely. She had butterflies forming in her stomach.

Jordi: “I think Grandfather needs you around while I am working.”

He nodded. Hannah looked away, somewhat saddened. Jordi surveyed her and smiled.

Jordi: “Everything okay?”

She gazed into his Byzantine eyes. I wish you had said you needed me, Jordi, she thought glumly.

She took a deep breath and amplified herself to say something. He drew a long breath and gazed at the sunset. She watched him for a long moment and rose. Maybe some other time, she thought.

Hannah: “I am glad to help you and your grandfather, Jordi.”

She said meekly and leaned over to kiss his cheek. Jordi’s eyes widened, and he reddened.

Jordi: “O-Of course. Always a pleasure to have you.”

He said genially and nodded.

Hannah: “Have a good night, Jordi…”

She said softly.

Jordi: “You too, Hannah.”

He replied and watched her go. He drew a long breath and opened up his book to read.

~

The following day, Deimos and Jaxon were in his studio practicing for RyuPhobos. Deimos wore a Scorpian tank top, torn jeans, and black socks. Jaxon wore a leopard print shirt with the buttons undone to expose his chest tattoo, tight black jeans with holes in the knees, and black sheer socks. Jaxon reclined on the couch while plucking at his guitar strings. He gazed at Deimos, who was idly strumming his guitar, lost in thought.

Jaxon: “Everything okay, man?”

He strummed louder.

Deimos: “Yeah!”

He forced a smile.

Jaxon: “I tried to jam with you, and you’re not keeping up.”

He laughed. Deimos bowed his head.

Jaxon gazed at him and blew air through his parted lips. Before he could say anything, someone banged loudly on the door. They turned their heads to see Vasilos. Deimos glared hatefully at him.

Jaxon: “Yo!”

He waved at him. Vasilos’ eyes lit up.

Vasilos: “Well, hello, gorgeous!”

He fluttered his fingers over Jaxon’s soles. Jaxon burst out laughing and kicked his feet.

Jaxon: “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!”

Deimos jumped in and pulled him away from Vasilos.

Deimos: “Fuck off!”

He snapped.

Jaxon: “Who the fuck are you?!”

He panted between short breaths.

Vasilos: “Vasilos Megalos! And you, handsome?”

He grinned, took his hand, and kissed it, and kissed up his arm. Jaxon winced and glared at him. Deimos shoved him off and stood in front of Jaxon.

Jaxon: “I’m Jaxon and I’m taken by my Green Queen!”

He declared.

Vasilos: “Well, you are gorgeous, Jaxon! You know where to find me if you ever change your mind.”

He said smugly.

Jaxon: “I know I am, but I won’t change my mind.”

He said firmly.

Deimos: “Why would he? Andrew sure as fuck didn’t and he dodged a fucking hydro bomb.”

He spat. Vasilos’ smug grin disappeared, and he scowled at Deimos.

Vasilos: “Andrew has no taste, and I can do better than him anyway!”

He huffed and folded his arms over his chest.

Vasilos: “And what was that noise you were making? Sounded like sexy Jaxon was strumming while you were playing the guitar like a two-year-old!”

He laughed. Deimos glowered at him.

Jaxon: “Wow, what an original insult.”

He said dryly.

Celeste stood in the doorframe. She wore a Joan Jett tank top, bullet belt, Daisy Dukes, a spiked collar, and fishnets. Jaxon brightened when he saw her.

Jaxon: “Hey, beautiful lady!”

Celeste: “Hey, handsome man!”

They kissed.

Vasilos: “Ugh, who is this trash cat?”

He groused. Jaxon glared at him and stood in front of her protectively.

Jaxon: “Trash cat?! How dare you?!”

He spat. Vasilos reached out and tickled his ribs to disarm him. Jaxon drew back laughing and sank to the floor.

Jaxon: “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUHUHUCK OFF!”

He whined.

Celeste pounced on Vasilos like a caracal on her prey. Jaxon panted, catching his breath.

Jaxon: “Babe?!”

He asked, confused.

Vasilos: “HEY! GET OFF ME, LADY! I am not into girls!”

He snapped.

Celeste: “No, this is how you tickle, right?”

She grinned and removed his shoes to tickle his feet, but the sweaty, vinegary odor pervaded the room. Celeste gagged and drew back. Jaxon cupped his mouth as tears welled in his eyes, and Deimos put his shirt over his mouth and nose.

Celeste: “Can you please use foot deodorizers?! It wouldn’t hurt!”

She gagged. Vasilos glared at her.

Celeste ran out as Vasilos threw his shoes at her.

Vasilos: “GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, YOU TRASH CAT!”

Jaxon rushed to the bathroom to throw up.

Vasilos: “Great! Now you have him convinced my feet stink!”

He huffed.

Deimos: “Convinced?! THEY DO STINK!”

He snapped.

Vasilos: “Shut up, Deimos! How dare you and she embarrass me in front of Jaxon! You two will pay for that!”

He snapped and put his shoes back on.

Celeste: “What, you’ll tape your shoes to our faces?”

She gagged. Vasilos’ fury soared.

Deimos: “Don’t give him ideas!”

He hissed.

Vasilos: “You both will pay for this!”

He shoved Deimos aside and stormed out.

Celeste went into the bathroom with Jaxon to pat his back and hold his hair back as he puked.

Celeste: “My poor little prince…”

She crooned as she dragged her nails down his back.